Practical Ways of Improving Your Self Esteem - Part 2

In the previous article on improving self esteem, I discussed the way that other people will not see you the way you see yourself; I also introduced the notion that improving your memory can be an aid to increasing your confidence and self esteem. By recognizing both those factors, you could have two tools that you can make use of, as you work on the task of improving your self esteem over the coming months.

In this article, I will look in a bit more detail at ways you may be able to set about, methodically, improving your self esteem over time. Bear in mind, there is no overnight solution, and there may be set backs along the road, even if you make initial progress.

Shifting the Balance of Self Esteem

To simplify matters, let us say that your self esteem is a balance between negative and positive impressions you may have of yourself. The chances are that your own imbalance is not extreme. Perhaps 45% positive and 55% negative is a typical case, just for the sake of illustration.

By thinking of the problem in that way, it is kept in perspective. Do not think that you have to go from 0% positive to 100% positive. That would be a gargantuan task. In the illustration, there is a 10% gap between negative and positive, and it is enough to make you feel quite low about yourself. Remember, though, the good thing about a balance is that to find equilibrium, you do not have to move the full 10%. A 5% improvement on the positive side will reduce the negative side by 5%, bringing about a 50/50 balance. In such a case, you would notice a significant improvement in your self esteem.

If you are aiming to improve your self esteem, you can divide your approach into two fronts: expanding the positives and reducing the negatives. By doing so, you can eventually shift the balance in favour of the positive self through your own efforts.

Expanding The Positives In Your Self Esteem

In reality, there is an infinite amount you can do to make your self image more positive. Here are just a few suggestions which you may be able to build on.

1. Having examined the occasions, situations, places and people, with which you feel most comfortable and positive, consider what changes you can make to spend more time in that environment. You need to expose yourself to as much of these positive influences as possible.

2. If any of those positive environments relates to some sort of interest, hobby or expertise, try to expand your knowledge in that area. For example, you may love gardening and feel happy chatting to a couple of neighbours in particular about gardens, plants and flowers. In such a case, you could easily increase your knowledge and deepen your interest, and join a local gardening club that meets once a week or more.

Once settled in your new club, you could then encourage your two gardening neighbours to join you. That way, you will be getting more positive exposure, feel the benefit of taking the initiative, and also expand your knowledge of what is a popular discussion topic.

The time you spend with other gardening enthusiasts will be positive, and take over time and space which might otherwise have been negative, taking you that little bit closer to the negative/positive balance. You can apply that example to just about any hobby, interest, or area of expertise.

3. It is likely that your working environment is a breeding ground for your lack of self esteem. I say that simply because much of your waking time is spent at work. Ask yourself what the most positive aspects of your job and the working environment are, and then consider what you may be able to do to make them more prominent.

For example, is there an aspect of the job for which others seem to hold you in high regard? Do people seek your advice on that topic? If so, try to encourage people to seek your advice even more, and show that you welcome it. At the same time, continue to build knowledge in that area of the work, and in others you think colleagues might later benefit from your increased knowledge. In so doing, though, remind yourself regularly that those people who are approaching you, do so because they respect your knowledge and opinion. Try to see yourself as they see you.

4. As a general rule, have an education plan for yourself so that, regardless of age, you are always growing as a person. Study aspects of self improvement, such as success strategies, alongside improving your knowledge and ability related to your chosen career path. All the time you will be building your own character, which in itself will help with your self confidence.

5. Use visualization to help you achieve the outward personality you would like others to see, and for you to see in yourself. Combined with meditation and relaxation techniques, visualization can be a very powerful mental tool when used regularly and consistently.

6. In conjunction with 5, sit down and make a plan to achieve a more positive self esteem and reach your personality goal. 5 years is a sensible time period to cover, but you will be able to work on parts of your plan immediately. Be determined that your plan will be implemented and become an integral part of your life.

Reducing the Negatives in Your Self Esteem

Having carried out the self examination discussed in Part 1 you can also set about reducing the negative influences on your self esteem. Such influences can be in the form of individuals, groups of individuals, a work routine, a job or any other part of your life. Here are a few suggestions:

1. If one or more of the negative influences relate to your job, then bear that in mind when working on your plan. A more amenable job, even a new career, could make the world of difference to you. A fresh start in a new environment can make a big difference, and you can make the most of it, especially if you grasp the notion that you have an opportunity to project a new image, to people who do not know you.

It is best not to rush into the new job, but to plan what you need to do to get the new job you desire and need.

2. If you have "friends" or relatives who seem to drag you down for any reason, try to ease them out of your life. You have the right not to spend time with people who are a negative influence on your confidence or happiness.

3. If it is feasible, go travelling. By travelling, I do not mean going on a routine vacation with a lot of holidaymakers. That's not travelling. Try to go to a completely different type of country and culture, maybe a third world country, off the usual holiday track, but somewhere with the reputation of being hospitable. Go alone, and the people will welcome you, and see you as someone very special; they may even treat you like a prince or princess. In one fell swoop, you will be eliminating all the negative influences in one move, at least for 2 or 3 weeks.

Three weeks away in a different world should also gift you with a different perspective on life. You may well find that new perspective, when carried back home, will increase your confidence. Once you know you can be an adventurer, you may have the courage to carry that into other areas of your life.

The above, of course, are just a few ideas for a mild case of low self esteem. Extreme cases may require direct professional help. However, by utilizing some of the ideas from the two articles, you may at least get the process underway to increase your self esteem to a more pleasant level.